Getting to Here...

I am told my novel will be available this Friday or at the latest next Monday. Wow!!! An amazing feeling. I am sure many of you have experienced this same exhileration and for those of you that haven't I am here to tell you DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

A dream is a dream...Put yours into action!!!

I look back over the past decade and am not completely sure how I got to this point. Oh sure I can see all the highs and most of the lows, but the real journey...YIKES!!! I will start by telling you that just over 10 years ago I split from my wife. It was not a pleasant divorce. At first I was very upset and bitter about how it had all ended...I spent the better part of the first year in a fog and then the second year in internal anger and bitterness. For an optimistic guy, a confident person and someone considered to have the patience of Jobe...I failed miserablly!!

My "darkness" as you will hear me refer to it, began then. A slippery slope of trying to make her wrong for everything that didn't work out for me, telling everyone around me I was "OK" when really I was terrible and not being able to bring myself to admitting I needed help. NOOOOO...I needed to be super Dad, super Employee, super Coach and Community Suppoter...you would think I was driving for sainthood or something, LOL! (And I can laugh a little about it now!).

I became pigheaded in many respects. I internalized much of my anger. I supressed most of my emotions. I carried on superficial friendships and business relationships instead of participating full out in all aspects. I retreated and became isolated. This was all self-imposed, I cannot blame in any way shape or form my Ex or anyone else. Was I hurt deeply to the core by her actions...ABSOLUTELY!!! Did it take years to get over...YOU BET!!! BUT...Did I have to act so unintegral, bitter, repressed, isolated, and dishonestly...NO!!!

I began writing the initial plot line and building the character, Steve Hicks, during my early days (first couple of years) after the seperation and divorce. I had always dabbled in plot development and character design and as I went through this huge mid-life change (I also got a tattoo, bought and learned to play the guitar, started working out and started living way beyond my means in "the high life") I tried to commit to completing a novel. This week marks 8 years and 1 month since I originally put pen to paper.

Now...realistically, 2 years ago I formed the solid basis for the plot and pounded out the initial third of the book. Life took a couple of nasty turns and my writing was put on the backburner again. I will at some point detail some of the "nasty turns" as it all becomes relavent, but suffice it to say I look back today and realize I needed to go through everything, as Springsteen relates - I needed that "intangible"...I have been able to put much of my lifes hardships and joys into a place of workability today. I am getting back to being in touch with my emotions and their outcomes and my stories and characters seem to be benefiting.

So...the short of it is...the "getting here" has been many ups and downs....many struggles and distractions...many hardships, hurts and pain...But...I am here and regardless I have found my passion released in my writing. I will not stop and I hope to get deep enough to deliver a truely great read!!! Today, I look at it from a position, as named in the title and lyrics of one of Bon Jovi's songs..."Welcome to Wherever You Are"...

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are

I have a lot of experience to draw upon and with a renewed sense of integrity and brutal honesty I hope to bring my characters to life through these moments and periods from my past and present. I have a wonderful new partner...She is one of the most brutally honest and communicative people I have ever known. She has a fantastic outlook on life and has completely allowed me to bare my soul to her, take action in my life and loved and supported the completion of this book. All in all I hope to share my story with you and provide some encouragement to those still struggling, to network and gain insights and vision from all, and to be the best man I can be!!!

On a completely seperate note and in closing, I want to share that I will be launching my website soon. I have decided, given some of my past and present personal experiences, to donate a portion of each book to the "Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation" and proceeds from the second book to "The Danny Fund" (www.dannyfund.org). XOXO Publishing has graciously offered to match my donations, dollar for dollar out of their share of each book. So...I am going to start a campaign - The Drive to 5000!!! I want to sell 5000 books online in the month of May...If you have read it and liked it, please help us reach our goal. If we hit the 5000 book mark I will further add to the donation total. I would like to remit the first of, I hope ongoing donations, before Fathers Day on June 20th, 2010.

Again, thank you for reading this blog and if you grab a copy of Darkness on the Edge of Town...Thank you for supporting me and each of the above wonderful organizations in their fight to find a cure!!!

Have a great day!!!!

Paul Greene
Author - Darkness on the Edge of Town